Here's the kids in the Airport. They did awesome with all the traveling.
My family is really close and my parents have always fostered this open, loving, fun family culture within us that has only grown deeper as we've become adults. This has bled into many intimate, daily life moments among all of us so to have just a slice of that dailyness I miss so much, was bliss. I mean from the bottom of my heart that my siblings (and their spouses and kids) are some of my favorite people in the world. Let me be real honest here and say that the daily closeness suffers when you live on a different continent. You totally share as much as you can and let other's experience your life (and theirs to you) in words typed over computers and grainy cyber images but the little moment stuff gets missed much of the time simply because we can't call each other when the kids say something hilarious (I would wake one of my family members in the middle of the night!) or bring over a latte when my sister's had a hard day. Like those off the cuff conversations that leave you thinking that happen when dinner plates have been pushed back or the sharing of a friend's heart at small group that just meets you right where you needed it - that all looks different being miles away. So for me leaving my parents this time was much more painful than when we moved here .... and yet the time was that much sweeter.
I think when we moved there was such unknown about how it would be to live so far away and there's a certain amount of anticipation that's been building about living in your new place. But for these past 8 months we've experienced the feelings that go along with missing loved ones, the reality that we weren't there for big events and, well, that life goes on without us. Of course we knew that in theory, but walking through it can be much different. So I think this time I said goodbye knowing to a degree what I'm missing, yet being fully confident this is where we are meant to be. I was deeply encouraged that God is indeed working in me in ways he simply could not by being in close proximity to my family members or having my old life back. That to me, though painful, is exciting.
-I want the goodbyes to be hard because the richness of these people in my life have been so precious to me.
-I want to be able to sacrifice short term joys for things that are lasting and eternal.
-I want to dwell on the fact that a gift is something received with open hands, not mine to demand or a right I "must have" to be happy. Thus experiences, people or places are not mine to demand.
-I want to realize all the amazing moments I've had in my life up until now are but dim reflections of the joy God offers me. That's why they are true graces. And I can be hopeful because near them or not I always have the fountainhead of that joy - God Himself.
-I want to let flood in fully all the emotions that go with this ride of living overseas, knowing the sadness is not sin but has a purpose. And letting those feelings lead me to God. The joys and the sorrows.
These are just a few thoughts floating around my head this past week being back and being so thankful for the refreshment that came with the vacation. Hopefully more "fun" picture filled posts are to come ... always trying to keep it real with where I'm at...
Help me to see how good thy will is in all,
and even when it crosses mine
teach me to be pleased with it.
Grant me to feel thee in fire, and good, and every providence,
and to see that your many gifts and creatures
are but thy hands and fingers taking hold of me.
-Valley of Vision-
