Running Aground.

We've had a full and crazy past few weeks. For a while we have been having mold issues but they've gotten worse and worse. We have been looking for a new place for the past couple weeks. And it's been an adventure for sure. There was a point when I felt really low during one of those weeks. I wish I could say I was full of peace and trust through the trouble of it all. No. I can't say that at all. But I can say my Father's always at work in me to show me how much more precious it is to have a Savior at the center of your world with which to fall on. Far better than a created thing, a gift or self to look to. Things were looking rough: every room in my house was full of mold, the prospects for another house were not looking good, there was drama with the landlord, I was missing fellowship and I was getting discouraged. The Lord kept reminding me that all these things are meant to show me how little I can actually do in myself. How little I control. How dependent I really am. This is a theme with the Lord and I (read previous posts!). And how much I really do love my life (in a "put-my-hope-in-it" sort of way).

John 12:25 says :

He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

I've just thought a lot about dying to self lately. What does it look like to lose my life and hate my life in this world? I don't think it means just to always do the hard thing but I do think it means being uncomfortable, often. I do think it means I praise for the gifts but want The Giver more. So much more do I want Him that it can seem like hate toward other things, even "good" things. I also think I should expect it to feel like death at moments. I think the Lord allows us to "run aground" with things sometimes just to reveal how quickly we transfer worship from Creator to created (self included). Elisabeth Elliot's quote brought this home to me this morning:

Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for. "Running aground", then is not the end of the world. But it helps to make the world a bit less appealing. It may even be God's answer to "Lead us not into temptation" - the temptation complacently to settle for visible things.

How much I have to learn of this.

But for this moment I will apply a bit of truth to a bit of my life right now. I will rejoice in the new house He's provided for us through all the searching! I will anticipate good things that He's doing. I will thank Him for provision and care unseen by my cold heart in the bleak moments. I will keep training my heart to humbly depend on God in all things needed for growth. And I will hopefully be learning to respond more quickly next time in trust.

And of course - I will continue to get excited about our vacation coming up in just a few days!!! There will be lots of packing to move when we return so I will enjoy the rest to be sure.

Here's our suitcases ready to go:

Glad growth is a continual process...