Merry Christmas!

I can't believe we are already to Christmas in a day! I just took out my batch of magic bars for our gathering tomorrow that will be here at our place. I also made a cheesecake and 2 stromboli's. Cooking here makes my recipes either better or different, so we'll see!

We've enjoyed this whole week off of language and only had our helper come 3 days. We baked, slept in, read books, drank lots of tea and hot cocoa, ate big breakfasts, hummed along with the Carpenters, built train towns, and skyped with friends and family. It's been good for us to step back and slow down. And I'm thinking about what our new year holds and how I can grow even more in love with my Savior... But for today I will quiet my heart and rejoice that He came to earth as a frail, weak baby to give me full life and joy!

May your Christmas be full of rest, joy and passion for the new year!

Merry Christmas

To Your Family!

Reason #5,437 why kids are so much fun.

After a long language day with your brain feeling like mush, as you almost drift into sleep on your bed... your children find your clothing, layer various pieces (some being - oh yes - your very own sports bra) and make their funniest faces for your camera. Oh, and have I mentioned my daughter has personality?

The peace sign is something everyone here does in pictures...I think it's carrying over to my 3 and 4 year old.

Mind the present.

Photo Credit

It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day.

It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight

is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so....If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this :it is your own doing, not God's.

He begs you to leave the future to him, and mind the present.

George MacDonald

Grace for the now.

So I've been mulling over some things the past couple weeks. I think we are doing well living here. Over 5 months now we have been here! I'm definitely more content with living here and not feeling as out of sorts as those first couple months. That's a great thing. But I can honestly and openly say I still feel pretty tired most days. Pretty weak. Pretty needy. Tempted to feel overwhelmed by life here. Those feelings are still very near and I have to battle them. I am finding that...

His Gospel's big enough for my here and now.

2 Peter 1:3 says By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to Himself...

Really - everything?? There tends to be some gaps in my thinking and my doing. These are little guideposts telling me what I am truly trusting in or looking to for joy. You know what I mean? Monday mornings as I rush to get things going, when my child is whining for the umpteenth time today, when language feels like it will never come or my days are too full. I think we will always struggle with a "gap" as we grow in our walks (1 Cor. 13:12). But, I keep thinking about this verse and how Jesus came to save me from what I'm currently struggling with. This news is still saving me. This is a grace that reaches down to where I am, in my current battles. This is a very good thing because it keeps me prizing the gospel. It's liberating to realize I am still very much a mess - but the gospel is for messy people! The closer I draw to a Holy Father the more His blazen purity reveals my stains. I'm tempted to pretend I don't see those stains or try to work those stains white again. My pride wants me to try to liberate myself. Feel good about myself. Justify myself. Prove myself. In a myriad of ways we can all do this. Hear key word? Self. Listen to this liberation:

He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.

2 Cor. 5:15

True change comes as I experience grace for myself each messy or miraculous moment. I'm often more shaped by my circumstances or the world than I am by this grace. It's a fact that I have this storehouse of grace available for me right where I am so I don't have to live like a spiritual miser each day. Listen to this story I read that's a great illustration for reminding myself of what I have each moment in Christ...

"A friend recently recounted to me the story of Hetty Green, known as the Wicked Witch of Wall Street in the early part of the last century. The story goes that she took so long trying to find a free clinic to treat her son's broken leg that he had to have it amputated after it had gone gangrene. Yet, she was born into a wealthy family and died with a net worth of millions of dollars. My friend summed up Green's life with the statement 'she never tapped into her wealth.' "

Taken from By His Wounds You are Healed: how the message of Ephesians transforms a woman's identity by Wendy Alsup.

Funny Phin.

This kid cracks me up...last night at dinner here's what I heard:

Paul : I'm reading in the book of Numbers right now.

Job: Hey Phin, your name is in the book of Numbers.

Phin: Yeah! And Job, your name's in the book of Letters.

My morning.

Enjoying sweet steel cut oats sent from a thoughtful mother in law, so delicious. And continuing our second year of using our homemade Jesse Tree advent calendar with devotions which reminds us all of why Jesus came.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

We finally found a tree this week! It looks pretty good (for here). We decorated one morning a few days ago. I'll have to put up a picture of the whole thing soon. We love Christmas!

I love seeing ornaments from years past that are full of memories...

like this one from our very first Christmas together.

This one from last year that my mom bought for us to bring to Asia.

And there's this insanely bright yellow bear that came with a package of ball ornaments here. It sticks out pretty clearly, you can see it in the picture with the kids below. Think cheap, gaudy, trailor park. I guess it works with our living room lights, right? When Phin said "Oh little bear, I love you so much!" and kissed it, I knew then my dreams of slipping it in the trash were gone...

We got a special skype date with Papaw where he played Christmas carols on his guitar for us.

I made Rasberry Thumbprints with this sweet girl over the weekend.

She loves to help me cook/bake.

Little fingers are perfect for these cookies.

Mother Justification vs. Jesus Justification.

And He also told this parable to some mothers who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and viewed others with contempt...

Two women went down to pray, one, an outwardly "perfect" mom and the other clearly struggling under her load at home and her mothering.

"Perfect Mom" stood praying: God I thank you that I am not like other moms: messy houses, unfinished to- do lists, children who don't listen right away or a woman who would think of making unhealthy meals for her family. I do crafts twice a week. When I promptly wake at 5:am each morning, my bible reading never gets pushed aside. And wow, how much homeschooling we got accomplished today - all thanks to my planning ahead!

But the broken, tired mom fell to her knees at her sink full of days' end dishes and cried "God - have mercy on me, a sinner! I failed to love in so many ways today! I struggled to keep your Word as first priority and spoke harshly to the kids. I'm really having a hard time getting everything done each day. Oh how I need the grace you offer me in Jesus!"

I tell you this mom when to sleep justified rather than the other because she saw her daily need for a Savior. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled but he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Adapted from the parable told in Luke 18: 9-14.

Downtown.

We went downtown this weekend which was fun. When we first arrived some months ago going downtown was stressful and busy. Taxi, bicycles and busses everywhere with no driving rules. A whole lot of people in one place. Narrow Streets. Add 3 little kids and it made me nervous and could be more stressful than fun. I really enjoyed our time there this past weekend. We went looking for a Christmas tree (no luck yet with one that looks semi-decent). We ate street food. We tried to chat with the ladies selling clothing who A.D.O.R.E my children. We bought really good raisins from the kind men scooping from the mounds open on their carts....And we ate the "hamburg". It's like one of their "fast foods" and it's yummy. Don't think of the American hamburger at all, it's so different. I'm telling you they have some great, fast and healthy food stuff here. Love a lot of it. Here's my three little kiddos enjoying eating one.

It's like a large English muffin/pita type of bread with a sweet, tangy sauce which you can also add spice too.

You pick what you want on it. Different meats, cucumbers, lettuce, tomato and a fried egg.

We got some marinated chicken also on it. They cook it up right there for you.

And the sellers always smile. At us. At my kids. People here are generally so friendly. And I usually wonder, what's their story? Their grief? Their joys?

So downtown trips are getting to be more fun for us and I'm thankful for that.

Simple Pleasures - Thanksgiving Edition.

We had a great Thanksgiving here, celebrated over a quiet family dinner and also together with some American friends in our city. It could have been a day filled with missing family & familiar traditions but instead left me humbled and truly thankful. Moments this year that left me truly satisfied:

Hearing Psalm 103 read in English by my husband and then by a friend in the language of our new "home".

Being in a home that felt comfortable. The hostess sought to serve me and my family the whole day we spent in her home.

Food just as good as past thanksgivings, just different than my past "traditional" family dishes. It was a variety of everyone's favorites. My heart was full of gratitude for these foods that took more time, effort and planning so we can be reminded of "home".

Realizing that food is a soulful thing, isn't it? Food is a means of comfort, teaches us about one's culture, is full of memories and is just another excuse to get into one another's real lives.

Conversations with those seeking the Lord that challenge me and make my heart soft.

My children laughing, playing and enjoying time with other little ones.

Language advice and encouragement from women who I have much to learn from.

Remembering that every gift, every good meal or sweet memory made was purchased for me at Calvary.

Every bit of bread you eat, if you are a godly man or woman, Jesus Christ has bought for you. You have it at the hands of men for money, but Christ has bought it at the hand of his Father by his blood. Certainly it is a great deal better and sweeter now....

Jeremiah Burroughs, taken from The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment.

A new kind of Thanksgiving...

The preparations have begun. I went downtown yesterday to find some American goodies I can use to cook with for our Thanksgiving in just a few days. Things like bacon, whipping cream and cream cheese. Years past have meant rushing to WalMart to get items from my list. A flurry of activity, a messy kitchen and a schedule. This year because I live in Asia, it now means I go to thin alleyways lined with overflowing open bags of spices and a group of old men playing cards to find my goodies. I practice some of my phrases "How much is this?" and "small white cheese that is soft" with the shopkeepers. Life here is sometimes more simple and I'm thankful for that. I don't waste time looking at the bacon aisle reading labels because there's only one type and it's in rundown store the size of my bathroom back in America. It can be more work too but this year I want to savor the chance to have a different holiday than years past. Trust that this is good and can hold fun, new things for us as a family. I'm sure I will have an even messier kitchen this year (it's tiny) but I'm thankful to celebrate the good. So here's what I'm making for our little family's meal this year.

Roast Chicken

Green Bean Bundles.

Spoon Cornbread

Garlic Mashed potatoes

My sis in law's sweet potato casserole

My sister's well loved Apple Pie

I have a few activities planned for the kids too. I love using holidays to teach and make memories.

Me & My Girl.

Here are the two gals of the house this past weekend. These are also pictures of Felicity where her hair is "au natural" ... also known as c-A-razy fro. I love it out like this but it's a ton of work to pick out tangles a few days in and those back home can testify it can quickly resemble kid n play by day 2 or 3.

Parenting this sweet one keeps me learning hair tips for sure.

Something I hear from her at least 5-10 times a day lately when she sees me doing something that she

a. wants to do really bad

or

b. she thinks is adultish and womanly

is "When I get to be a mommy I can do _____" - take your pick - drink coke, wear makeup, cut food up, stay up late, kiss a daddy etc. etc.

I love this cause is just shows that she's watching me and learning by watching. I'm reminded she's my little disciple. I love that.

Simple Pleasures.

Reading about Thanksgiving to my kids and being humbled at all others have endured for worship.

A woman who could never understand how doing my laundry frees me every day...my house helper. I truly love that woman.

Sharing heart to heart talks with friends I understand fully (english speakers) and friends I don't (piecing things to understand). Amazed that humans feel burdens spoken yet not full known.

Heaters to fill our home with warmth on cold nights and mornings. They are turned on here by the powers that be... not your regular old control over the thermostat back in the States.

Powlison's x-ray question 4 that's been nagging me since last week.... "What do you bank your hopes on?" People energetically sacrifice to attain what they hope for. What is it? People in despair have had their hopes dashed. What were those shattered hopes? (see 1 Pt.1:13 & 1 Tim 6:17).

Biscuits and gravy reminding me of Bojangles....yummm.

Phin Prayers.

...It's bad to eat a lot of pancakes, like if you eat 100 pancakes because it's bad for you and it's dangerous...just like when you step on the edge of a volcano and you could fall in...God thank you for all the stuff you gave to us, it's pretty. God thank you for our christmas lights and the people who came to fix our closet doors and for the bunk beds that the bunk bed people gave us...And God we need new hearts. There's only one God who is King and like Pharoah, he's just a pretend King.

Enough for today.

God's strategy is to give us enough for today and then, when tomorrow comes, to give us enough for that day too. Do you see how this is exactly what we need? Fears and worries live in the future, trying to assure a good outcome in a potentially hard situation. The last thing they want to do is trust anyone, God included. To thwart this tendancy toward independence, God only gives us what we need when we need it. The emerging idea is that he wants us to trust him in the future rather than our self-protective plans.

Ed Welch, taken from Running Scared.

November so far.

This has been a good month so far. I cannot believe it's already almost Thanksgiving! We are getting excited around here for holidays and took the liberty of putting up Christmas lights all over the house. We've reached new trailor trash heights over here :) We love turning them on in the evenings now.

Here's us opening your I-N-Sanely huge package Mamaw & Papaw. It was our "thanksgiving" package....I told you we have amazing family...

I'm more than a little happy in this picture with my hot chocolate in hand and fine, Americanish powdered sugar!

The kids got some books which they loved.

Below is some pictures of the kids last week when they got to make a Bible times costume as a part of Job's school lessons. They looked so cute, my little David's and Esther. Felicity took.my.breath.away. in these outfits.

Have I mentioned how fun it is to be experiencing all these new changes with three little kids in tow? It makes things interesting and is often used to humble me but also adds so much to experiences here as we learn and grow together.

One last bit of news....the heat officially turned on today!!! No more sleeping in socks (something I detest!).

What will the rest of this month hold?

Around the neighborhood.

Exposing Culture Shock: Holy Groans.

There's been a lot on my mind this week. It's been one of those weeks that spiritual nourishment hasn't seemed to come easy. As this war for my heart rages on the shores of culture shock, I've needed to evaluate some wrong ideas of how the Christian life should look. A truth I've been chewing on and have set my heart to dwell on this upcoming week is simply:

Having deeper groans in this season IS grace.

What do I mean by that? I feel like I'm groaning a lot more than I have before in other seasons. I don't just mean grumbles I mean groans. Holy groans. Groaning because I want so much more right now. Groaning because I do miss my family. I do ache when I realize there's memories that will be made apart from us. Groaning cause this is hard. Groaning because I see so much shallowness in my trust of Jesus ... Because I realize now more than ever how held my heart is/was by earth. How narrow my views can become of what grace looks like right now, how grace feels. But I've been thinking about how groaning is right. Groaning is instructing me. The Word tells me:

Romans 8:23

And we believers groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us full rights as his adopted children.

Groaning is the sound of one caught between earth and heaven. Paul Tripp has said “Groaning is the default language of the Christian”. I think that's completely right but months ago I would have told you my groanings didn't go so deep. They've begun to sink in further as we've been here. I'm sure in my lifetime there are groanings deeper still that I know nothing of. But I don't have to pretend I'm not groaning. Indeed, if I do run from it or don't face them I rob the redemption right out of those holy sighs. God pursues me with my unsettledness and reminds me

...groaning is the plan Miranda. Groaning is my grace working deeper yearnings for spiritual things, things much fuller than those you set your love on before your groans unsettled you...

There's so much I've yet to learn about walking with a Father whose nature is so flaming with holiness, whose thoughts are so far from mine. He plans and directs and delights in seeing me loosen my grip on life...on control...on lesser loves...to liberate me. He knows I'll never find true peace or joy of soul when I'm white knuckled to the things of earth. Here's where I begin to see glimpses of grace in the groans.

What matters is what I do with my groans. God doesn't just want me to settle down comfortably into my groans but let them drive me outside of myself. Will I listen to my groaning? Holy groans tell me something. They show me I've been far too easily pleased. They remind me life isn't mine. That my ideas of grace and growth are far different than God's. That this earth indeed is not my home – no wonder I feel so uncomfortable. That I haven't yet receieved all that I know is mine. That I can't control life. But one thing is certain: If I don't turn with to Jesus with my groaning, it will simply bear no fruit.

I sometimes think that the whole of the Christians life is the art of asking questions. Our danger is just to allow things to happen to us and to endure them without saying anything apart from a groan, a grumble or a complaint.

Martyn-Lloyd Jones

To guard myself from this "danger" and press into God with my groans these next weeks, I'm going to slowly make my way through David Powlison's X-Ray Questions. This is a little booklet with 35 questions that help me see through to why I do what I do - to hear more clearly through my struggles. I will take it slow with a few questions a week, taking my time to work through brutally honest answers. I highly recommend this booklet if you find yourself looking for some good questioning too.

Whats New.

We've had a busy last couple weeks. Busy with the right things though, I think. Continuing to find our routine, which is not always easy nor quick. But I'm really wanting to let this time do a good work in my heart. It's often tiring and has many aching moments for what's familiar. But I want this "season" to till up some hard soil so fresh rain and growth make their way deep into the roots of this tree (me). Making Psalm 1 mine has filled my thoughts this week:

But she delights in the law of the LORD

meditating in it day and night.

She is like a tree planted along the riverbank

Bearing fruit in each season.

Her leaves never wither.

She prospers in all she does.

Life right now means language filled afternoons with Fridays off. For this month it means Fall is beginning her goodbye's and our days are shorter. We eagerly await snow's appearance in the next month - who knows what new things we will like/dislike by living in a snow filled city for almost half a year? Because of the chill I'm usually wearing a light jacket in the house (no heat yet). After the kids have drifted off and the quiet comes, I've been reading or watching an old season I've never seen of Biggest Loser. I'm usually eating chocolate or popcorn when I watch it though...not sure that's a normal reaction.

And enjoying schooling my first grader - we collected seeds this week for science! Using great books to teach all three has always been something I enjoy. I realize even more now how this time with my kiddos is an important beam in building up my home. It's not just "good" for everyone, it's pouring into their lives and finding time to enjoy being a mom in a season where things are still shifting.

Speaking of family... our families are incredible. Just look at the things that have been packed into a box filled with love, hugs and delight and made their way across the Pacific to our front door lately:

And trust me there was more. Body wash. Books. Candy. Craft stuff. Spices. A fall candle. Cards. A cute shirt. A brownie Pan. Little things that could easily be seen as frivolous but oh how they matter! Those little things remind me that I am thought of and known. Our whole little family is. And I value this stuff a gazillion times more than I would have had I nabbed it off the overflowing shelves at Target. They are gifts ... Undeserved gifts from the undeserved ones in our lives :)